Willie Nelson "Born For Trouble"

(CBS, 1990) Willie's first LP of the 90s featured no Willie compositions, but it was pretty solid, especially because there's lots of upbeat stuff and a genuinely dumb honky tonker predicated on the wordplay, "I went to bed at 2 with a 10, and woke up at 10 with a 2." Enjoyable! There is no decade of Willie failure, just some that are great and some that are merely really good.

White Castle Veggie Slider

 (White Castle) The Impossible Burger at White Castle has been kinda bitter the last few times I got it. I am not vegan/vegetarian, I just like to mix it up, so I don;t have to take this as serious as some, but sorry to say the science of faking meat seems to have slipped.  On the other hand, the veggie slider has improved, and has embraced non-meatiness. There are just whole peas and carrots in this, and it tastes great.  Happy 100th White Castle.

Mad Magazine Presents Up the Academy

(Warner Brothers, 1980) Just watched this, inspired by the good record. This movie is like the disadvantaged in this country...Poor! Even the songs were inewptly placed and repeated and cut off and started up, just awful. I would have paid 30K to take my name ioff it as well. Mad Magazine Resents Throw Up the Ecch-ademy indeed! 

Mad Magazine presents Up The Academy OST

(Capitol, 1980) This movie was supposed to be a high school version of National Lampoon's Animal House, except National Lampoon provided source material and creative and on camera talent for their movie and MAD provided a poster illustrator, permission to depict a statue of Alfred E. Neuman, and (eventually) $30K to remove the statue and MAD's name from the movie when it aired on TV so MAD's perennially soiled name would not get that soiled. Also, an R-rated movie attached to a magazine with a core readership whose enthusiasm and loyalty usually wane a couple years shy of R-movie age wasn't a genius movie move. That said, I know I went to see it and I was barely half old enough to get in. But I don't recall anything, not even any boobie scenes. This LP did not jar any memories, but it is pretty good. Mostly ringers (Blondie's "X-Offender," Modern Lovers' "Roadrunner," and even Hagar!) with prime real estate given to (brief) Bomp darlings Blow-Up and two cuts (released as a single) by an at par pop band called Cheeks that I don't think existed beyond this. According to IMDB King Coleman acted in this movie, so the soundtrack coulda been better, but considering multiple parties had their name removed from this mess, this is a pretty boss platter.

Angelo De Augustine "Tomb"

 

(Asthmatic Kitty, 2019) Breathiest singer ever + Bestiest record ever!

White Castle Gallon of Grape Nehi

(White Castle) Note: This is a picture of a gallon of iced tea, which I guess they also offer, for free with a Crave Case if you're lucky. But that's some weak tea, metaphorically, while a gallon of grape Hi-C is a top 10 menu item on a VERY strong menu. And drinking from a jug in your car after the drive through feels like some Dukes of Hazzard moonshiner shit! Another Note: a gallon of orange Hi-C is too much orange Hi-C.

Elf on the Shelf Cereal

 

(Kellogg's)  Nanny cams meet Cookie Crisp at the corner of Bad and Cereal. This was a bad cereal and my Christmas wish is they don't put this out this year.

Gummy Bear Shots

(dumb places to get drinks/date rape parties/high school) More like Dummy Bear Shots! If drinking liquor is too difficult  and you need it in Gummy form like a children's vitamin you should not be allowed to drink.

Arizona Green Tea gallon

(Arizona) You can't convince me that a gallon of this for $3.50 is a better deal than a tennis ball can-sized cylinder of this good stuff for a guaranteed, printed on can in 50 point font, 99 cents! Don't use math, just get this out of my face, and line up those bowling pin sized pop cans. Zero stars!

Pomegranate Mollassas

(Sultan) I don't even know what this is supposed to be for! I just know it looks like you've had it in the back of your cupboard since the Bush administration the moment you take a new bottle out of your grocery bag, and every weird experimet I've tried with it has been a smashing success. Fave rave: pour into a glass of that flavorless La Croix stuff and have a mouth party!