The Rolling Stones:
“The Ed Sullivan Shows”
“Some Girls Live In Texas ‘78”
(Guest review by Gary Pig Gold)
The jury – to say nothing of the legal teams – appear to still be out on precisely how much of a bigger bang the Rolling Stones made in marking their supposed fiftieth (!) year together. For example: Did the long-thought-lost Mick Taylor truly succeed in again, albeit momentarily, filling Brian Jones’ gigantic musical shoes during the band’s 012/013 concerts? And speaking of quasi-reunions, how come the Stones invited back the best bass player they’ll ever have and then only let him play for a song or two ??
Now, seeing as the vast majority of their fan base these days prefer sitting in front of flat screens as opposed to braving the crush at the local EnormoDome, the band has kept the anniversial ball, well, rolling with some fabulous new books and a slew of brand new/old DVD releases specially made for all December's remaining children.
Two such items contain some cream from the band’s considerable on-stage capers, both on television, where the young Stones initially made their greatest generation-dividing impact, and later down there in Texas at the, um, height of one of their many, many one-last-comeback tours.
So, you can choose from a package comprising four – or six if you spring for the Deluxe edition – complete (with commercials even!) Stones-featured Ed Sullivan Shows remastered from those once-Swinging Sixties. Then, on much the opposite end of the musico-historical scale, view a long-rumored and ultimately shelved (because, as director Lynn Lenau recalls, "they thought they looked too old") semi-low-budget 16mm film of a typical show from their S.E.A.T. (as in "Seventy Eight American Tour") supporting the just-released "back-to-basics" Some Girls long-player …which, buy the way, can now be yours on DVD, Blu-ray and/or "Special Edition with CD digipack presentation including a reproduction tour program" (included on all configurations however, it should be noted, is the Stones' (in)famous 1978 SNL appearance starring Dan Aykroyd as Tom Snyder).
On a budget, and can only afford one of the above items you say? Especially after plunking down £229 (plus postage + handling) for “Bill Wyman’s Scrapbook” ?? Let us then compare The Ed Sullivan Shows Starring The Rolling Stones and Some Girls Live In Texas ‘78 in order to help make up what’s left of your mind…
SULLIVAN: CBS Television Studio 50, NY, NY and CBS Television City,
Los Angeles, California.
SOME GIRLS: Will Rogers Auditorium, Fort Worth, Texas.
SULLIVAN: Six Sunday nights between October 25, 1964 and November 23, 1969.
SOME GIRLS: Tuesday night, July 18, 1978.
ROLLING STONES' ALIAS:
SULLIVAN: England's Newest Hit Makers.
SOME GIRLS: The London Green Shoed Cowboys.
SOME GIRLS: 2,856
SULLIVAN: Lipton Tea, Pillsbury, Dove soap, Anacin, Easy-On Spray Starch, Chef Boy-Ar-
Dee, Lux Liquid, The Man From Glad, Geritol ("America's #1 tonic"), Aqua
Velva, Aero Shave, Aero Wax, Burlington Mid-Length Socks, Infra-Rub, Lees
Carpets, Polaroid Corporation, Pacquin Cold Cream, Ben-Gay Lotion, FTD
Florists, Sleep-Eze ("when you can't sleep because tension has you all wound
up"), Sominex ("if you can't sleep because of simple nervous tension or daily
problems"), Vivarin Stimulant Tablets ("Give yourself a lift!"), ProSlim 7-day
reducing wafers, Norelco, Cheesecake nylons (yes, cheesecake), Hai Karate
After Shave and Cologne, Juan Valdez's 100% Colombian Coffee, Teflon II
Certified Cookware, and Zerex anti-leak anti-freeze.
SOME GIRLS: Bill Graham.
SULLIVAN: Giant cheese wheels, ironic dripping chandeliers, orange then blue screen,
purple and (paint it) black screen, psychedelic rib cages and lots of reflective
SOME GIRLS: In the words of “Old Gods Almost Dead” author Stephen Davis, "a bare
stage surrounded by a huge red lips and tongue logo painted on a scrim. A
pair of giant tonsils floated over Charlie's drums."
SULLIVAN: London Lee, Itzhak Perlman, Stiller and Meara, Peg Leg (really!) Bates,
Laurence Harvey, The Kim Sisters, The Berosinis, Phyllis Diller, Morecambe
and Wise, Leslie Uggams, Gitta Morelly, Dusty Springfield, Tom Jones, Totie
Fields, The Half Brothers, Señor Wences, Les Olympiades, Eddie Schaeffer,
Hal Holbrook, The Romanian Folk Ballet, Sandy Baron, The Muppets (twice!),
Franco Corelli and Renata Tebaldi, Louis Armstrong, Joan Rivers, Robert
Goulet, Red Skelton, The Michael Bennett Dancers, Flip Wilson, Petula Clark,
Monroe the Acrobat, "this group of forty-four nuns from the Convent of the
Sisters of Saint Benedict in Erie – that's Erie, Pennsylvania, of course" aka
Sisters ’67, Alan King, Rodney Dangerfield, Ella Fitzgerald, Robert Klein, "from
the Hawthorne Circus, an amazing tiger riding a horse," the even more amazing
Lucho Navarro (who impersonates motor cars with his mouth) and, of course,
SOME GIRLS: Peter Tosh.
SULLIVAN: "And now (pause) singing (pause) singing Time on my si- (pause) Time On My
Side (pause) The Rolling (pause) Stones!"
SOME GIRLS: "Welcome the fucking amazing Rolling Stones!"
SULLIVAN: Merry Clayton, vocals, "Gimme Shelter" (but you can't see her; you can only
SOME GIRLS: Doug Kershaw, fiddle, "Far Away Eyes."
SULLIVAN: Brian Jones, guitar, bottleneck, sitar, dulcimer, recorder, piano.
SOME GIRLS: Ron Wood, if you let him, guitar.
SULLIVAN: Singing "Let's Spend SOME TIME Together" under Ed's strict orders.
SOME GIRLS: Singing "Sweet Little Sixteen, she's got the grown up blues, tight dresses
and Tampax, she's sportin' high-heel shoes" without Chuck Berry's consent.
NUMBER OF TIMES CHARLIE WATTS SMILES:
SOME GIRLS: 2 (though he is positively on fire throughout this show!)
NUMBER OF TIMES BILL WYMAN MOVES:
SOME GIRLS: 0
(sorry, I kid: During the Stones' inaugural Sullivision appearance, Bill was actually given a live microphone into which he was moved to add harmonies during "Time Is On My Side")
GREATEST HITS PERFORMED:
SULLIVAN: "The Last Time," "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction," "As Tears Go By," "19th
Nervous Breakdown," "Paint It, Black," "Lady Jane," "Have You Seen Your
Mother, Baby, Standing In The Shadow?," "Ruby Tuesday," "Gimme Shelter,"
"Honky Tonk Women."
SOME GIRLS: "Honky Tonk Women," "Starfucker," "When The Whip Comes Down," "Beast
Of Burden," "Miss You," "Shattered," "Tumbling Dice," "Happy," "Brown
Sugar," "Jumpin' Jack Flash."
GREATEST HITS IGNORED:
SULLIVAN: "Street Fighting Man," "Under My Thumb," "Sympathy For The Devil," "Mother's
Little Helper," "Get Off Of My Cloud," "2000 Light Years From Home,"
SOME GIRLS: "Sister Morphine," "Bitch," "Turd On The Run," "Short and Curlies," "Cherry
Oh Baby," "Claudine," "I'd Much Rather Be With The Boys."
NUMBER OF MINUTES ON STAGE:
SULLIVAN: Six-and-a-half to twelve (per appearance).
SOME GIRLS: Approximately eighty-three.
SULLIVAN: well, It's important to remember that eight months before the Stones' debut
appearance there, The Beatles were paid a total of only $10,000 for their first
THREE Ed Sullivan Shows.
SOME GIRLS: It should also be remembered that the Stones paid filmmaker Lynn Lenau
and her crew a total of only $1,000 to shoot Live In Texas ’78.
SULLIVAN (in a message to Stones co-manager Eric Easton following the band's first Ed
Sullivan Show): “We were deluged with mail protesting the untidy appearance,
clothes and hair, of your Rolling Stones. Before even discussing the possibility
of a contract, I would like to learn from you, Eric, whether your young men have
reformed in matter of dress and shampoo.”
SOME GIRLS (Mick Jagger, by way of introducing "Respectable" to the bemused citizens of
Fort Worth): “I'm afraid if the band's lacking slightly in energy, it's because
they spent all last night fucking …but we’ll do our best.”