Saturday, September 25, 2021

The Monsters "Monster Mash"


(General Mills Records) The cereal came out a few weeks earlier, with the song links dormant and teasing, so we were building this up in a little too much I fear, because I sure wanted this to be better and funner and funnier. The "Behind the Music"-style promo video was kinda koooky and had some good moments, but the voices seemed off (there must be Rich Little Youtube tutorials on Lorre, Karloff, Lugosi impressions...and if not, you know General Mills has the the Caliendo coaching cash!) and I just expect more from these Saturday Morning TV commercial legends. Even if the record was this meh and they had it be a cardboard cereal box cut out record I woulda been appreciative enough of the effort to give this four skulls. Then again, original "Monster Mash" is in many ways a more perfect record than anything the Beatles made, so there was no chance of living up to that legacy no matter how many late nights in the lab they worked on this. I am still glad they made this.

Friday, September 24, 2021

Frankenberry cereal


 (General Mills) Best monster cereal character design by far (the strawberry fingernails are magnificent) but at best a decent tasting fruity cereal. This is appropriate for a seasonal cereal but does not merit year round bowl time. That said, get excited about this every Fall!

Thursday, September 23, 2021

Boo Berry cereal

 


(General Mills) Of the Big Three of Monster Cereals this is the most exciting in that it doesn't seem to be guaranteed the annual re-release his more corporeal living dead colleagues enjoy, thus is a rare-er treat, but it tastes the worst of all of them. Definitely not particularly blueberry flavored. And not even blue, more purple-ish. I suppose they never said "blueberry" anywhere. Also, I hear they got rid of the chemicals in Monster Cereals that turned kids' poop colors...boo indeed!

Wednesday, September 22, 2021

Count Chocula cereal

 

(General Mills) "Count Chocula" is the only Monster Cereal that tastes good enough to be a year-round table treat and Count Chocula the character has a funny enough design and a good enough personality that if he'd had his own cartoon it woulda made Groovy Goolies look like Drak Pack.

Tuesday, September 21, 2021

Monster Mash cereal

 

(General Mills) As we enter the pre-Halloween spooky season it is tragic and depressing and impossible to ignore that we live in an age of true horror when the actual non-fake news of the brutality, stupidity, injustice, and hatred of our neighbors, countrymen, and government feels like a hopeless beacon of actual, inevitable doom. So we have never needed moments of dumb, absurd, genuine joy more than now. I only hope that others got as much excitement as I did out of the simple perfection of this whatever the grocery industry equivalent of a Pulitzer Prize is-worthy achievement. To celebrate a half-century of monster cereals General Mills put all the flavors and marshmallow shapes of their five monsters (including their appropriately maligned 80s entry Yummy Mummy) in one box and called it, sublimely, "Monster Mash." And did I mention that they are now an Archies-esque cartoon rock band? This doesn't even taste that good. Yet it is the cereal I needed now. And I love it. True thanks to whatever god or devil is responsible for making monsters in cereal form. And the band is even releasing a song! Thanks to this I now truly believe that the world could be worse!

Monday, September 20, 2021

The Wonder Years


(ABC, 2021) Pilots often try to throw a lot in to lay out the scenario/hook you in/show what they are about, and this episode did A LOT. But that might just be the pilot, I will decide later if I want to watch this show. But I will say, no doubt, when Dule Hill shows up at the baseball field in this suit it was nice. This still does not do justice to how slick this outfit looked on TV. As of now, this is not the funniest sitcom going, but fuck it, Best Dressed is worth points.

Sunday, September 19, 2021

Chicago Party Aunt

(Netflix, 2021) I was not being a bitchy negative nelly, I wanted to like this. But it's just not funny. I don't care to nitpick about Chicago details, or that it's in Wrigleyville when she seems more South Side-ish, or this or that...I actually want to watch to see Chicago stuff, and chuckle at, and have warm nostalgia for,  pee troughs in stadia...but it's just not funny. I think many people involved in the show are funny; I almost always laugh at Ike Barinholtz. But damn, something about this boring designed, striving for mediocrity show clearly sucked all joy out of whatever they were trying to do. Just not funny.

Saturday, September 18, 2021

Eddy Grant "Grandes Exitos Vol. 2"

(Ice, 1982) Eddy Grant is so great. I think the Equals songs are equal in greatness to the Rolling Stones and his solo take on Island/African roots pop has as many solid songs IMHO as almost any artist rom the 70s and 80s other than Lauryn Hill's Father In Law. This record has "Living On the Frontline," "Hello Africa," and "Can't Get Enough of Yo," amongst other grand exits, and I keep flipping this platter over and over...Can't Get Enough of You, EG!

Friday, September 17, 2021

Thursday, September 16, 2021

Ritter Corn Flake (full size)

 

(Ritter) OK, I've previously only had these in mini size, like 3/4 of an ounce or so, and never knew they came as big, thick-assed candy bars. This is still good but it's too good and too much and I can't even deal with it. There is so much milk chocolatey wonderfulness that it's kind of disgusting. The sublime mini is the way to go, Johan.