Friday, May 14, 2021

Snickers White


(Mars Wrigley) So I guess this is special because of the white chocolate (with mostly other regular Snickers stuff inside, i think) but I honestly can't tell you how it tastes because it is .45 ounces smaller than a regular Snickers and that is so disconcerting and insane that my taste sensors were drowned out by how wrong it felt in my hand, how I was biting something too skinny, and, I swear, even during chewing it felt like I could tell this was wrong. A tiny funsize is a thing and a King Size prepares you for the majesty of excess volume, but apparently .45 ounces is the exact figure to enter an uncanny valley of candy mis-sizing. Also contains this phrase on the wrapper: "Partially Produced with Genetic Engineering." But I can live with that, it's the weirdo size thing...are they trying to claim that white chocolate is some valuable truffle-expensive ingredient that can't be stretched over a regular Snicker nut-skeleton? Is the genetic engineering so costly they couldn't afford to make this the size of a chocolate bar? This is a candy disaster.

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